The Kern Valley Review

Late Fall
By Angela Rose
First Place in Poetry

The street is littered with leaves
They billow like smoke
As cars sneak up the shallow lane
I smell the fires of many homes
As winter creeps into the air

I hear dogs barking as I pass by
I round the corner
The wind whips my face
For a moment, my bones taste the icy air
I shiver and continue home

On arrival, I touch the cold steel of the gate
The hinges protesting to the cold
The smell of fire grows stronger
I cross the threshold into my home
The fire within bites my face and hands

No longer cold……
It feels good to be home.

***

Paintings

America the Beautiful
By Giovanna Colella
(twelve and under)

Crossing Over
By Colleen Grant

Spring Flowers
By Aurora Sunderland (twelve and under)

Looking at Spring
By Jessica Melby (twelve and under)

***

Claim Jumpin' Jackasses
By Leo F. Kohl
First Place in Fiction

PROLOGUE: Both Martin Allhoff and his brother. John, had been born in Britsenhem au Rhine in what was then known as Prussia, or Germany in the 1820's. When both were quite young, their parents immigrated to America, and settled in Oakwood, a small farming community a few miles from Dayton, Ohio. In early 1849, upon hearing the various reports of gold having been found in California, and with their parents financial backing, the brothers traveled west in a small wagon train out of Independence, Missouri as hunters and scouts for the wagon party. Their overland journey began at the end of February, 1849, and the brothers arrived in Coloma, California in the middle of August, 1849. They filed on a gold claim and were soon actively engaged in mining for gold. In early April, 1851, they were given the rights to a claim on the other side of the rocks that bordered their claim, re-routed the main trail that traveled over a portion of their existing claim, and when questioned by the miners who usually used the footpath, readily accepted their explanations why the trail had been re-routed. It is here the tale begins.

Toward the end of April, Marty and John began to work the new claim. They often switched places while they shoveled dirt and gravel into their wheel barrow and rolled it over to their rocker-cradle to be washed and screened. When very fine gold particles appeared, they were given a final washing in the gold pan. By using this tried and true method, they were able to wash moderate amounts of gold dust and small, pea-sized nuggets from the new claim.

They had been working the claim a little over a week, when early one morning, Marty was busy working at their main claim, while John was working the new claim-site. Marty happened to glance up toward the footbridge and spied a pair of derelict-looking characters shuffling along the mid-section of the bridge. Their clothing appeared dirty, torn and well-worn, while on their backs, each carried torn and dirty pack sacks. By just their appearance, Marty instinctively believed these two meant trouble - and John was working alone on the other side of the rocks. He watched the pair until they passed the rocks, and ran swiftly to where he could not be seen from the other side but could hear clearly everything that was being said. From the conversation that was going on, a single thought flashed through Marty’s mind - “Claim Jumpers!” When he heard what was happening, he drew his pistol and went around the other side of the rocks to confront the two men.

John, too, had seen the two men approaching across the footbridge, and thought to himself that they were not from Coloma since he had not seen them around town before now. They appeared as the most ragged, decrepit-looking pair he had ever seen and looked like nothing but trouble. John dropped the wheelbarrow and picked up the shotgun that was close at hand. The fellow to John’s left wore a faded, dirty, yellow sash, over which he wore a gun belt with holstered pistol visible. He was a few inches shorter than the other fellow, and had dirty, disheveled blond hair and a beard. His partner was taller than Yellow Sash, with darker hair and beard that was equally as dirty. In contrast, he wore a red sash, over which rode a gun belt with holstered pistol. John instinctively felt these two would prove to be real trouble. When the two men stepped off the footbridge onto the trail that bordered their claim, John greeted the pair, “Mornin’ to you!”

Yellow Sash, a surly look on his face, yelled at John in a nasty tone of voice, “What you doin’ workin’ our claim?”

John instantly thought, we’ve got a real mean pair o’ bastards here!

“That’s right!” Red Sash added. “We was workin’ this here claim ‘til we left fer the season last fall!”

John hefted the shotgun and replied, “There must be some mistake!”

Yellow Sash reached for his holstered revolver and growled at John, “Ain’t no mistake, mister! This here’s our claim, an’ we intend to take it back, even if it means shootin’ you!”

Red Sash reached for his revolver and told John, “That there shotgun may take out one o’ us, but there’s two o’ us to your one!”

John instinctively steeled himself to be shot, then feelings of relief flooded through him as he saw Marty step around the rocks with his pistol pointed at the two claim jumpers. He called out to the two men, “Wrong on both counts! Drop your gun belts or you’re both dead men! I’ve already killed three slimy sons-a-bitches like you! Wanna make it five?”

The two claim jumpers, completely surprised by Marty’s appearance, quickly unbuckled their gun belts and dropped them to the ground, where John retrieved them and threw them over by some rocks. He called out to his brother, “Marty! Man, am I ever glad to see you! These two scummy bastards were gonna shoot me an’ take over our claim! Get your hands in the air, you two schweinhunds!”

By this time, Marty was by John’s side and asked him, “You all right, John?”

John replied, relief in his voice, yet it trembled in anger, “Yeah, I’m fine now! Let’s see how these two bastards will be now that the worm’s turned!”

Yellow Sash, a white, pasty look upon his face asked John, “What you gonna do to us?”

While Marty had his pistol trained on Red Sash, John shoved the shotgun barrel in Yellow Sash’s stomach, and yelled at him, “This for starters!” Then he reversed the shotgun and slammed its butt into Yellow Sash’s jaw and knocked him to the ground screaming. He then shoved the muzzle into Yellow Sash’s mouth and yelled at him, “Try to steal my claim, will ya? You yellow-bellied scheissen dumkopfs! I oughtta pull the trigger, but that would mess up our claim with rotten shit!”

Red Sash was watching all that happened to his partner, when John pulled the shotgun’s muzzle out of Yellow Sash’s mouth, turned and slammed the gun butt into Red Sash’s groin. The man screamed out in agony, held on to his crotch with both hands while he fell to the ground and writhed around in severe pain.

Marty, a violent tone in his voice, growled at the two would-be claim jumpers, “That’s jus’ the beginnin’ o’ what’s gonna happen to you! We’re goin’ back over the bridge an’ let the miners take care o’ you two yellow bastards!”

Then Marty raised his revolver and fired two shots into the air, while the two claim jumpers on the ground cringed together and trembled violently. He called over to his neighbors and friends, the Christopher brothers on the other side of the rocks, “Jed! Dave! Pass the word to the other miners! We got the drop on a pair o’ claim jumpers who were gonna shoot John! We think the miners should be able to properly take care o’ these two sons-a-bitches! Dave? Can you come over here an’ give us a hand? Thanks!”

“Be right there, Marty!” Dave called back, and when he rounded the rocks, he saw what was going on and asked John and Marty, “What you need me to do? ‘Pears to me you two got the situation pretty well in hand!”

Marty then asked Dave, “Would you pick up these two bozo’s gun belts an’ revolvers an’ take ‘em up to our cabin? They won’t be needin’ ‘em any more when the miners get through with ‘em!”

With that, the two claim jumpers struggled to get to their feet, but John, with shotgun pointed at their middle, and Marty ready to fire, yelled at them, “Get up slowly an’ keep your hands in the air! One move to run for it an’ you’re both dead men!”

Marty then told Dave, “Thanks, Dave, for gettin’ these bastards weapons! Tell you an’ Jed the whole story after we turn these two yellow sons-a-bitches over to Cap’n Shannon an’ the miners!”

The two would-be claim jumpers struggled to their feet, put their hands in the air and half-walked and half hobbled across the bridge they had just recently walked over. Marty and John, their weapons pointed at the claim jumpers’ backs, herded the two across the footbridge. Before they reached the town-side of the bridge, Jack Lord, the Deputy Sheriff of Coloma, started across, then let out a long whistle, pulled his revolver when he saw who was coming toward him, and exclaimed aloud, “Whatta you know? I’ve been lookin’ fer you two bozos fer months now, an’ who brings both o’ you to me? None other than my former hunters an’ scouts!”

Lord turned to Yellow Sash and asked him, “Finally caught up with you, eh Lindstrom? This’s ‘Glinty-Gus’ Lindstrom, an’ the one with the red sash is ‘Jumpin Jack’ Thomas! You two dumb sons-a-bitches! Marty, here, has already sent three assholes to hell, an’ John, there, blew the hell outta a horse thief! Wonder they didn’t shoot the lot o’ you!”

Lindstrom, a sneaky, sly smile on his pale face, asked Lord, “You gonna arrest us an’ take us to Placerville for trial?”

Lord shoved his revolver in Lindstrom’s face and yelled, “Hell, no! I ain’t takin’ you to Placerville an’ let that theivin’ shyster, scum-bag Judge O’Banion let you off scott-free! No sir! I’m turnin’ you two over to Cap’n Shannon an’ those miners waitin’ over there!”

By this time, the five men were in the central part of Coloma’s main road where it was the widest portion of the main thoroughfare. Two poles had been erected across the road from Frank Bekeart’s gunshop, and a heavily bearded man stood by the poles surrounded by some fifty miners. He called out to Lord, “What you got there, Deputy Lord?”

Lord replied, “Two claim jumpers I’ve been lookin’fer, fer months now, an’ who brings ‘em to me, but my two scouts an’ hunters fer a wagon train I guided west a few years back! These fellas here, the Allhoff brothers, are the ones that got the drop on ‘em! Lindstrom, the one with the yellow sash, was gonna shoot John, here, but Marty got the drop on both o’ ‘em, an’ it was all over for ‘em!”

Shannon then asked Marty and John, “Ain’t you the two fellas that shot them two horse thieves in front o’ Adams Company Express a couple years back?”

Marty answered, “Yep! That was us! John, here, was ready to blow Lindstrom’s head off, but didn’t wanna mess up our claim with his shit-filled skull!”

Shannon nodded his head and remarked, “Thought you were the same two fellas! Guess these two dumb bastards didn’t know what they were gettin’ into!”

Lord told Shannon and the assembled miners, “These two want me to arrrest ‘em, but I’ve a warrant to serve over in Georgetown. I’m not takin’ ‘em to Placerville an’ let that rogue judge, O’Banion, let ‘em off! No, sir! I think you, as Alcalde of Coloma, an’ the miners here’ll give ‘em what they deserve!”

The assembled miners called out various responses, “You bet!,” or, “We’ll give ‘em what they deserve!,” or, “It’ll be a long time before they forget us!,” and, “Le’s get goin’ an’ get the job done!”

Marty and John described what had happened, and explained to those assembled that their new claim was legal and registered by Karl Wagner, the Express Agent at Adams Com- pany, and if they needed further proof, to go ask Wagner. They then told the group that for the almost two years they were on their old claim, no one had ever worked this new claim, so the lies of the two claim jumpers would not stand up.

Shannon then cried out loudly to the group, “As Alcalde o’ Coloma, I now call this trial in session! All o’ you heard the testimony o’ the two men who’s claim they were gonna jump! How do you declare these two bozos - Guilty or Not Guilty?”

The miners who surrounded Shannon, the Allhoff brothers, and the two accused men cried out loudly and in unison, “Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!”

Lindstrom cried out to the group, “Wait’ll O’Banion hears ‘bout this!” While Thomas cried out, “It’s a ‘Kangaroo Court’!”

Shannon yelled back at the two men, “To hell with that shyster judge an’ his two rotten shyster cronies! Their day at the end o’ a rope’s comin’ soon!”

Lord then left the group, went to his office where his horse was hitched, untied his horse, mounted and called out to Shannon and the miners, “Give ‘em what they deserve! I’m off to Georgetown!”

Lord wheeled his horse and headed out of town as Thomas cried out again, “It’s a Kanga-roo Court! Where are our rights?”

John shoved his shotgun in Thomas’ stomach and growled at him, “You ain’t got no rights, you bastard! Now take your medicine!”

The miners grabbed Lindstrom and Thomas, pulled off their shirts, dropped the upper parts of their long underwear to reveal their pale, unwashed, odorous skin, then tied their arms high up on the whipping poles. Then Shannon explained to the miners who surrounded the whipping poles, “In some camps, claim jumpers are either run outta town permanently, or jus’ given a ride outta town on a rail. But here in Coloma, claim jumpin’s a serious crime, an’ the penalty is fifty lashes on the bare back an’ a ride outta town on a rail! If the jumpers return, they’re hanged right off the bat!”

Shannon turned to a tall, skinny man with a chin goatee, who held a bullwhip in his hand, and told him, “Mark! Start with Thomas, an’ give ‘im twenty five lashes! Then we’ll douse ‘im with salted water to clean the wounds, then finish up with the last twenty five lashes. Do the same with Lindstrom when you’ve finished with Thomas!”

At first, Mark started slowly with Thomas, then increased the tempo of the lashing up to twenty five. When the salted water was sloshed on Thomas’ back, he screamed out in pain when the salt in the water entered the gashes and wounds made by the whip. They applied the same treatment on Lindstrom, but he fainted when the salt water was applied to his back. After they revived Lindstrom, the final twenty five lashes were applied to both men’s backs and salted water was again sloshed on the wounds to prevent infection.

When the whipping had been completed, ten men brought forth a fifteen foot pole, that was about ten inches in diameter, to which Lindstrom and Thomas were securely tied. The ten men lifted the log and bounced it around, then they ran south toward Placerville and Coloma’s town limits; all the while, bouncing and heaving the log around with its occupants holding on for dear life. When they reached the town limits, they lowered the pole, untied Lindstrom and Thomas, then they lifted the log again and heaved it into the air which threw both men onto the hard, rock-strewn dirt road. Two men threw down their shirts and pack sacks to them, while Lindstrom and Thomas yelled curses and vile epithets at the laughing miners who surrounded them. Laughing and making cat-calls to the two men, the miners totally ignored the threats made by Lindstrom and Thomas.

Shannon then told the pair, “If both o’ you, or even one o’ you shows his face in Coloma, you’ll hang, sure as hell!”

Hurting as bad as they were from the lashing and the pole-ride, deep down, both men knew the consequences if ever they entered Coloma again. Nevertheless, they pulled up the tops of their long underwear, put their shirts back on, hand-carried their pack sacks, and yelling curses and threats and shaking their fists at the laughing miners, they hobbled and stumbled down the road toward Placerville.

Shannon turned to Marty and John and asked them, “Well, Allhoffs! Whatta you think o’ Coloma justice now?”

Marty gruffly replied, “Rough, but quite effective!”

Then John asked Shannon, “Think we’ll have any more problems with claim jumpers?”

Shannon answered, “When news o’ this circulates ‘round the region, claim jumpers’ll steer a wide course ‘round Coloma! Don’t believe we’ll see these two, or any like ‘em again after word o’ this gets ‘round!”

Marty heatedly exclaimed, “Hope you’re right, ‘cause if I ever see either o’ those bastards again, I’ll kill ‘em!”

John then commented aloud, “Should a blown ‘em both to hell when we had the chance! But in the long run, guess they got more than they bargained for!”

Both the brothers thanked Shannon and the miners for their help, then they returned to their claims, where they described in detail to their friends, Jed and Dave Christopher, all the events that had taken place.

Jed exclaimed, “Think we’ll have more troubles with claim jumpers?”

Marty replied, “Shannon don’t think so! He told us that when word o’ this gets ‘round the region, other would-be claim jumpers’ll avoid Coloma like the plague!”

Dave Christopher then commented, “Boy! I sure wouldn’t wanna be in their shoes if ever they showed their faces here again! You fellas sure got the drop on those two!”

John corrected Dave, “No! It was Marty got the drop on ‘em, since their backs were to him, an’ they didn’t see him ‘til it was too late for those two dumb Scheissens! Still think I should a blown Lindstrom to hell, but he got what he deserved, for now, anyways!”

EPILOGUE:

Several months following the previous episode, Jack Lord, the Deputy Sheriff of Coloma, visited the Allhoff brothers in their cabin on their claim. Lord explained the reason for his visit, “”Have a few things to tell you both that I thought the two o’ you oughtta know!”

John asked the Deputy, “What things you talkin’ ‘bout, Jack?”

Lord then asked the brothers, “‘Member your two claim junpin’ friends, ‘Junpin’ Jack’ Thomas an’ his partner, ‘Glinty Gus’ Lindstrom?”

Marty released a puff of pipe smoke rom his lips, and with a grimace of disgust on his face, answered, “Like to forget that slimy batch o’ human scum!”

John asked Lord, “What about ‘em?”

Lord answered, “Well, Lindstrom an’ that rogue judge, O’Banion, along with his two friends, Mendel an’ McKittrick have all met their end an’ Thomas has left the region!”

Marty asked Lord, “When an’ how did all this happen?”

Lord explained to the brothers, “I got the story from one o’ the deputies over in Placerville. From what I’ve been able to learn, the Placerville Vigilance Committee hung O’Banion, Lindstrom, Mendel, an’ McKittrick. The deputy was there an’ witnessed the hangin’”

Marty then asked the Deputy, “Tell us the whole story Jack, so all o’ us’ll know what happened!”

Lord embarked on the long story concerning the hanging. “From what I could learn, the Vigilantes were keepin’ an eye O’Banion, Mendel an’ McKittrick. In one o’ the local saloons, they spotted Lindstrom pass on a bag o’ gold to Mendel. One o’ the vigilantes tailed Lindstrom to a saloon he frequented, while the other two followed Mendel to the saloon next to O’Banion’s Court an’ where he could always be found when he adjourned court proceedin’s. While they watched, they saw Mendel pass the bag o’ gold over to O’Banion, who shoved it under his judge’s robes. One o’ the vigilantes went outside the saloon an’ signaled other Vigilance Com- mittee members who’d been waitin’ there. Seems that Lindstrom was funnelin’ gold to O’Banion from surroundin’ outlaw gangs to get crooks an’ scoundrels acquitted when they came to trial before him. Lindstrom’d pass the gold to either McKittrick or Mendel, who’d than take it to O’Banion. Seems that O’Banion’d been appointed to the Judge’s position by the Legislature through the urgin’ o’ two crooked legislators in San Jose; O’Banion was also passin’ some o’ the gold back to the legislators as their share o’ the take. Apparently, all the outlaw elements were backin’ the two crooks in the State Legislature.”

Lord went on with his story. “The members o’ the Vigilance Committee, fully armed, entered the saloon an’ confronted O”Banion an’ Mendel with their weapons drawn. O’Banion protested, sayin’ he was a Judge an’ they couldn’t treat him that way when one o’ the vigilantes hit O’Banion across the chin with the butt of his revolver. When Mendel put up a protest, he found four guns pointed at his head. The vigilantes disarmed Mendel an’ O’Banion an’ took the bag o gold with ‘em. Other vigilantes found Lindstrom an’ McKittrick in a nearby saloon, disarmed ‘em an’ tied their hands behind their backs. Both vigilante groups met an’ led the now trussed-up O’Banion, Mendel, McKittrick an’ Lindstrom to the ‘Hangin’ Tree.’ Guess it was the same one, John, that you an’ Jed saw ‘em hang ‘Bloody Dick’ Crone back in ‘49?”

“Couldn’t’ve been any other!” John replied. “But go on with your story!”

Lord continued his tale. “While they were headed down the street with their trussed-up prisoners, one o’ the deputies tried to restrain ‘em. This was the same deputy who told me the story o’ what had happened. Guns drawn, the vigilantes told the deputy to get outta sight, ‘cause he was facin’ ten or more guns. The vigilantes told the deputy they didn’t wanna injure any honest peace officer, but by hook or crook, they were gonna administer their own brand o’ justice to those four scoundrels an’ rogues! The vigilantes led all four men to the tree, where they had a wagon waitin’, an’ four ropes had been thrown over the tree’s large, outstretched limb. O’Banion tried to protest further, but all four nooses were rapidly placed ‘round their necks, the wagon was pulled out from under ‘em an’ they were left to dangle as they died from slow strangulation!”

“The vigilantes scattered, an’ the same deputy cut down the four dead bodies, an’ with the help o’ other deputies, they were unceremoniously buried in a common grave outside the Placerville Cemetery. Seems the two crooked legislators tried to do somethin’ ‘bout it, but the Vigilance Committee sent four o’ their most outspoken members to San Jose to give those crooks the message to quit tryin’ to stir the pot! If they so much as showed their faces in Placerville, they’d meet the same fate as O’Banion an’ his cronies. Seems that Lindstrom an’ Thomas were tryin’ to get the Legislature to get rid o’ me as the appointed Deputy to the Coloma area, an’ were in cahoots with the two crooked legislators. When Thomas heard o’ Lindstrom’s hangin’, he headed south toward Sonora an’ Mariposa an’ ain’t been heard from since!” Then Lord burst out vehemently, “So, guess that’s the last we’ll hear from that pair o’ rotten sons o’ bitches!”

“Well, that was some tale you told us, Jack!” Marty commented, then asked the Deputy, “An’ you say you heard it from the deputy who was there an’ witnessed what had happened?”

“Yep! But some time ago, I was told by certain vigilante members ‘bout what was in the works, but I was powerless to intervene an’ stop ‘em!” Jack replied, then exclaimed, “That deputy did what he could, but with that many guns an’ a determined group o’ men, no sensible law officer’d even try an’ stop ‘em!”

When Lord had finished his story, Marty cried out, “I say good riddance to bad rubbish!”

John, who vividly remembered that Lindstrom and Thomas were prepared to kill him in order to jump their claim, cried out in anger, “Yeah! Nothin’ better could’ve happened to such a batch o’ rotten slimy bastards!”

THE END O’ THE CLAIM JUMPERS